Lighten Up

For the record, I am not a hoarder...

However, parting with things, especially those with sweet memories attached, is really difficult for me. One proof of this fact is glaringly obvious when you look around our house. Until recently, we had almost every toy and stitch of clothing that Benjamin ever touched. I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of his things that are connected to such wonderful memories. But, even these lovely things can start to be a burden - fill closets and book shelves, make drawers hard to shut, and turn family rooms into play rooms.

On Saturday night, I ran the idea past Benjamin; let's look through things and find all the stuff you don't need anymore. When I said it Saturday, I wasn't sure I could do it or that I wanted to. You know how to ensure tackling a dreaded task? Tell a kid about it. Kids have great memories.

So Sunday, with the help of my three year old, I took the first step. I asked Benjamin to look through his toys. We started in the den and then moved to his bedroom. I soon faced his clothes both in his closet and in his chest of drawers. We encouraged one another.

"Are you sure you want to give this away?"

"Yes, I'd like to give it to a baby because I'm not a baby anymore."

Sniff, sniff. "Okay."

When I tried to cram his foot into a pair of barely worn shoes, Benjamin gently declared that they were too small and they hurt his feet. As a result of our hard work, we donated toys to daycare and passed along clothes to a coworker's son. I was even inspired to do a quick run through of my clothes. It felt good. It feels even better to see his closet, shelves, and drawers looking neater (not the neatest, but definitely neater).

Watching Benjamin give so freely makes me feel happy.

Seeing my little boy grow up and do his best to drag me along with him is reassuring.

We can do this.

The Practice of Blooming

I remember a tiny plaque my mom often kept promimently displayed in her kitchen. It said, "Bloom where you're planted." For a long time, I didn't really understand the meaning, and then one day I wised up to the command that accompanied the tiny flower on the plaque. It made sense to me; especially in light of the fact that our family moved more than any of us really wanted to. I'm sure my mother had to remind herself of the sentiment often. Find happiness here. Enjoy this moment.

Now that I'm the mom of my little family, I need this same reminder. I don't need it because of adjusting to the new towns, houses, and jobs that my parents did, but I feel the weight of the wisdom all the same. For me, parenting - as in life - can be a series of wishes and hopes. Although I guess there's nothing wrong with wishing and hoping, at some point I must look around and see all the blossoms in my life and in my situation.

Benjamin has truly filled my world with more color and fragrance than I thought was possible before I met him. My practice in parenting is to celebrate each day and try to see the grandness of the small moments we're sharing together. Instead of focusing on what he will do someday (poop in the potty) and what he once did back then (sleep in my arms), I must work to see the blooms of this season. Instead of day dreaming about over-sized bathtubs (who doesn't?) and expensive vacations (San Francisco would be nice), I must recognize the beauty of this place right here. Please understand, that seeing such things is a challenge for me, but I know that I am happiest and surely a better parent when I appreciate my family, our nest, and our world just as it appears today.

Benjamin exploring in the backyard last month